I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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