Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize