Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
People in love make me want to vomit
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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