There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
