Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
