Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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