Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
