I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize