Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
