google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
