You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
