so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
