my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
