Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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