Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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