PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Never joke about your clitoris.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
