what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
