And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
