I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize