Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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