but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
