Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
