i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
