THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
