Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The struggles of a small town man whore
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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