It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
