Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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