This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Couch. On fire.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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