booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Enjoy the penises
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
