Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
