I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
