Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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