i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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