Don't you send me to vm
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
