Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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