I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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