I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
