Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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