I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
