I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
