I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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