Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
