youre lurking in front of me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
