I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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