I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
