laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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