i already hear my dad disowning me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
