I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
