As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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