Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
