People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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