Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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