I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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