Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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