I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
